Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize