the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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