Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
