? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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