I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
