hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
