just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
50% drunk capacity currently
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
