my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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