i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
