I hate your face
The maid of honor just puked.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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