He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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