dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
