ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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