I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
