Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
