It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
