Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i love accidental penises.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
