Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
