Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I've blown a few things in my day
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
