This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Randomize
