soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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