So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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