Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
