I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
