he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
organizing the empties. That sober.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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