we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
