Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
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