Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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