I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i barfeds in our rink
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize