chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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