You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
