Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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