We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i came on her dog
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
