turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
