I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize