she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
