So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Everclear isn't food dammit
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
