gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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