he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
