One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
