That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
