Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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