She is in my trunk
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
