So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
