I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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