just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
