i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
