just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
