I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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