You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
