Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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