I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
