Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I could make wine with my vomit
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
