I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
