Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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