1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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