two words: eviction party
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
