I'm eating all of the evidence.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
