I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
