For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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