Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
