Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
