idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
