doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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