The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
