Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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