He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
