just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
