He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
