I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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