i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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