Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
