so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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